In response to inquiries

10 Dec

Well, folks have been asking after me for some weeks, now … It started a few weeks ago with Miska asking if I was all right, and then Eva. Eva’s the only one who’s gotten a straight answer, mostly because Miska asked too early, when I was feeling fine. I thought I was going to get through all this with only a minor inconvenience, not worth mentioning.

By the time Eva asked, I was definitely feeling a little punk. And now it’s worse, so I might as well ‘fess up.


It all started last spring/early summer, when my urologist summoned up the temerity to stick her finger up my butt … not an action I’d accept from just anyone, you understand. She became alarmed, and rushed out of the room to the computer. She came back, finding no record, and asked: “When’s the last time you had a colonoscopy?” “Never,” I replied, and she said “Why not?” I said that it had never particularly appealed to me, and she scheduled me one, tout de suite.

I really expected nothing but false alarms from it all, and was unpleasantly surprised to find that my expectations were not to be fulfilled. Needless to say, after several peerings into my nether regions by assorted strangers (I hardly knew them!) , the conclusion was reached (I really don’t know whether they took a vote, or the conclusion was unanimous), that I had a medium-sized cancer in a place that I could not ignore.

The course of treatment decided upon was a series of 30 daily blasts of high-intensity X-Rays (for each of which I had to travel 10 miles to and 10 miles from), and a regimen of 3 pills in the morning and 3 pills in the evening of a total of 1500 mg twice/diem of a substance called capecetabine, which, as far as I can determine, is intended to destroy the lining of the intestinal tract.

I am now finished with both the radiation and the chemotherapy (I thought therapy was supposed to make you feel better!), and am in a waiting period for my body to recover, the radiation to take effect, and some other perfect stranger to look up my butt (What gets these people into this line of work, anyway?) and see whether and how much additional work needs to be done. If I hear “We’re going to have to blast!”, I’ll know I’m in real trouble.

But in the meantime, I’m sitting, lying, anything that’s a little comfortable , hoping and assuming that these weirdos know what they’re doing, and that I’m getting better.

I find that liberal applications of single-malt anæsthetic, taken internally, have a tendency to smooth out the bumps, as it were, and make life bearable. As a side-note, I managed to find out how to copy a French DVD into a computer file (AVI), keeping the subtitles (Jacques Tati’s Mon Oncle). That’s ONE accomplishment, at least.

So, now you know why I’ve been a bit quiet (aside from my natural shyness) during the past few weeks. It’s been because I’ve been having so much fun in RL. I feel like I’ve been rode hard and put away wet … now I know what “The Shootist” felt like.

I think I’ll go have some pickled herring and a wee drappie o the auld sod.

Thanks for listening.


Posted by on December 10, 2014 in Uncategorized


12 responses to “In response to inquiries

  1. Miska

    December 10, 2014 at 11:38 am

    I recieved your e-mail so I sent you respond via email too. I really wish you feel better very soon. Take care Ch.

  2. zena

    December 10, 2014 at 1:06 pm

    Hoping to see more pics…take care Charlie. XD

  3. gdare

    December 10, 2014 at 1:43 pm

    Sorry to hear about your troubles. I wish you a speedy recovery and that that cancer will disappear forever. I am glad to see that you are in a good spirit, though. Have my fingers crossed for you.

  4. Words

    December 10, 2014 at 10:53 pm

    Glad that you a feeling a little bit more chipper (you must be, to be back here). It’s sounds like you’ve been through a tough haul. Anyway, thinking of you, have a dram on me, and here’s hoping that they sound the ‘all clear’ soon. Take good care.

  5. blackcalla

    December 11, 2014 at 3:32 am

    Sorry to hear of your turn of events. Sounds like you are getting good treatment. Did miss your presence for the past couple weeks. Hang in there, young feller. Merle

  6. d4rkn1ght

    December 11, 2014 at 12:54 pm

    So sorry to hear the news. 😦 But it looks like you are on your way to recovery. Before you know it the cancer will disappear. Good luck and take care! 🙂

  7. Furie

    December 12, 2014 at 1:00 pm

    Bloody hell, I hope that gets sorted. Or, you know, that this is actually some creepy doctors fetishism they’re acting out on you. Either way, cancer free in twenty-fiftee…

    This lack of clever rhyming chants is why I never get invited to protests.

  8. Serola

    December 13, 2014 at 8:39 pm

    +1 for “bloody hell!” =( I just hate the cancer, anywhere and in any form! Do take easy and get better. “Doctor’s” order 😉

  9. raniahajqasem

    December 22, 2014 at 11:18 am

    I am really sorry to hear that for me it is a big shock ,I noticed that some of your friends ask you about your health, but I thought it’s just a periodic check-ups just like those which my father do every now and then, but my friend i am sure you can surpass that

    • derwandersmann

      December 22, 2014 at 5:24 pm

      Thank you, Rania. I’m pretty sure it’ll work out well.

  10. raniahajqasem

    December 22, 2014 at 12:22 pm

    I am sure because I know you are a believer and you trust Allah’s mercy ,and do not forget that your family and friends love you very much

    • derwandersmann

      December 22, 2014 at 5:27 pm

      Thank you, Rania … your faith reinforces me.


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